Friday, December 16, 2005
School Posted To | ST ANDREW'S JUNIOR COLLEGE |
Course Posted To | SCIENCE / 0804S |
got in! (:
thank God, the merciful saints didn't all flock together at once and get sucked into my plane engine, after i prayed so much harder than the diamond thing they use in oil rigs to cut the seabed into little little pieces. pardon my use of imagery.
and so many people i prayed equally as hard for got what they wanted too!
i'm the mighty new PPG.
pls leave me to my delusions for a week.
heng arh.
phew.
woopie.
yeepey.
weeee.
5:33 PM
reach for
the stars(:
___________________
++++++
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
i went on hiatus. ):
HOW COULD I. ):
i was tired.
TIRED HMM? I THOUGHT WHEN THERE'S A WHEEL (TYRE) THERE'S A WAY?
and daddy said i was going to get poisoned from all the unburnt carbon lining my digestive system.
HE'S PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED.. REDOX?
i don't know.
it's as if there's an angel on my right shoulder and a devil on the left having a verbal spar, and my brain in centre is telling everybody to shut up.
maybe i've cracked up. complete with the voices inside/beside the head package.
WHAT MAYBE. OBVIOUSLY LA.
SHUDD UPPPPP!!!!!
now that that's been taken care of, let's continue.
wait. we (indicates you and me) haven't even started. all i've done so far was listen to myself talk to myself about how myself was feeling crazy, myself talking to myself and myself not liking myself talking to myself.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
ok.
i think i'm just missing the section too much. and the sec4s, and band, and 4s2 and 2G2..........
boooohooohooohooo. poor me. pat pat, it's okay, stop patting, later become beef patty.
or worse, beefy and petty. cue the lightning and thunder sound effect in the background and raindrops start to patter...
lets break the guiness world record for the heaviest load of crap ever recorded on a black "i'm a clarinettist" blog that has a picture of three laughing frogs with varying degrees of exposed teeth on it. the frogs' teeth cant be seen in the picture. they're transparent you see. so just try to imagine. you know. like how Princess Fiona in shrek did. the whole sweep me off my feet thing.
you probably are wondering how shrek has anything related to the three aforementioned frogs.
well.
they're all green.
so, yup.
writer's block alert! my stupefying juices are not flowing. not viscous. not volatile. it's bituminous.
with effect from now, you will cease to read new flabbergasting speeches as i will attempt to be a normal blogger, and start my entries with
today i woke up at 074523am. wah, so tired i tell you. don't know why also. maybe cos yesterday i slept at 225437hrs. it's actually considered late cos i woke up yesterday at 041256hrs to play maple story. i just had to. did i mention that i slept the day before yesterday at 015926hrs? technically that isn't the day before yesterday, it's just yesterday, which actually makes everything worse.
(and on and on about how everything was made worse. and then)
i stopped playing at 124278hrs (this afternoon) and walked down to the s11 coffee shop at toh yi. i ate rice with sweet and sour pork and kailan and the seaweed wrapped around the meat thing. the aunty put brown gravy on my rice eh. EEE so unhealthy. you know what is inside the gravy? let me tell you what makes the gravy brown
(what's inside the gravy)
the walk back to the house made me feel less guilty. my macdonalds calorie counter told me that i burnt 0097236877665256329854237843 calories. of course, that could just have been a fiction of my imagination. but who knows, you know? uncle edmund was telling us something about the placebo effect this sunday. maybe the sun inspired my calorie counter to "flash forth" the large string of numbers that i have so kindly memorized to type for you to see. maybe my calorie counter was just broken. but who knows, you know? HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK.
.
back to the present entry, before anything unforseen happens to your computer screen.
eg. you punch a hole in it, hoping the computer will transmit your punch and the lcd on my screen will grow a fist like projection long enough to punch me, even if i'm sitting 3 metres away from the screen in lieu of your possible forthcoming punch.
see, once i start crapping, i cant stop crapping.
someone once told me "the most dangerous form of thinking is wishful thinking"
and someone else evolved it to "the most dangerous form of writing is wishful writing."
now it's my turn to create a word of wisdom, not just consisting of one word.
"the most dangerous form of crapping is wishful crapping"
okay, so that doesn't exactly make sense.
but it takes a confounding statement to give off the vibe that you're smarty farty.
-ego inflates and cracks through the four walls.
before this entry gets so long that it reaches your floor, i'll end off.
pls do not hesistate to chastise me if i have already broken your computer table.
till we meet again, cherie;
have a happy week.
i wont cry over spilt milo.
8:26 PM
reach for
the stars(:
___________________
++++++
Saturday, December 10, 2005
this is what you get when your brother has a sensitive olfactory system.
no pets with fur, his external nares will get irritated and itchy.
the fleas might get stuck within the internal nares.
germs that spread rabies or the likes might get inhaled and stick onto his adenoids, causing his entire face to inflate until it is twice its original size.
when the creature expels air forcibly from the mouth and nose in an explosive, spasmodic involuntary action resulting chiefly from irritation of its own nasal mucous membrane, droplets of goo sail towards your brother's delicate trachea. into the bronchus. past the bronchioles. and splatters all over his alveoli, causing a massive volcanic gigantic LUNG ATTACK.
his lungs convulse in resistance, his eyes widen in terror as he senses that the inevitable is fast approaching. and with one last violent gag, he spits out an entire lung. a faint grin spreads across his face.
so okay, no big deal, mother washes out the lung and gives it back to brother to swallow.
and you will await the next lung attack with anticipation and composure.
._.
i cant have a pet because of my
faint heart.
HAHAHAHAHA.
..
10:27 AM
reach for
the stars(:
___________________
++++++
Friday, December 09, 2005
elmo's ear song.do your ears hang low,
do they wobble to and fro
can you tie them in a knot,
can you tie them in a bow?
do they fall between your toes
can they wrap around your nose
do your ears-hang-low?
do your ears stretch wide, do they reach from side to side
can you use them as a parachute
or wings that let you glide?
can you cast a cooling shadow
over most of san dieago
do your ears-stretch-wide?
are your ears too big? are they heavy as a pig?
do they bruise your cerebellum
when you dance an irish jig?
can they function as the anchors
for a fleet of oil tankers
are your ears-too-big?
are your ears real small, barely visible at all
do they look just like two peanuts stuck onto a bowling ball?
can you store them in a thimble when you're feeling rather nimble?
are your ears real small?
are your ears quite clean? do they have a lovely sheen?
did you harvest all the vegetables that grow down in between?
did you wash out all the soil after all your farming toil?
are your ears quite clean?
are your ears too thin? do the breezes make 'em spin?
can you shine a light right through them like the finest onionskin?
can you wrap up a salami, do they fold like origami?
are your ears too thin?
click
here to listen to the midi.
my sesame street stuffed toys were sitting beside me singing along, and
naturally i was compelled to spread their joy.
ha-ha. have a good holiday.
2:27 PM
reach for
the stars(:
___________________
++++++